Stone Soup for Five: Do what it takes to stay in the battle

Do what it takes to stay in the battle



This morning as I woke up after a busy weekend with a very full and demanding week ahead, I was already done before I got up.  In fact, I stayed in bed staring at the ceiling marinating in how much I didn't want to do anything today.  I had no desire to read the Bible, didn't want to pray, and was tired just thinking about the work that faced me today.

I eventually sighed and dragged myself out of bed.  I made a cup of coffee and stared at my closed Bible.  (There's a quote I love that is on a sticky note inside the cover of my Bible:  "It's almost like Satan's finger is pressing down on the cover."  I felt that today.)

I sat and thought how much I don't want to read a chapter of the Bible and fill out my meditation journal today, but what if I just read the chapter?  Of course, my first reaction was "No! That's not right! You can't have a blank page and besides that's lazy and there's no good reason for me to be lazy!"  But...there's no reason why I can't just skip those pages in the journal and just read either.

I also do not feel like praying.  At all.  There have been discouragements and problems and I have been pouring my heart out in prayer, but it is hard to maintain momentum.  Again, I chastised myself that I should be able to commit time to that, in fact I should love it.  But, committing even five minutes to prayer and talking to God about my "sighs" is also more than enough.  Just meeting with him is always more than enough.

I also really did not want to workout, but there was no reason why I couldn't pull up a quick walking workout video and at least move my body a little bit.  Yes, I need to do more but just 15 minutes is better than no minutes.




I think my version of self-care is different than a lot of ideas I see floating around out there of Spa Days, pampering, and vacations.  To me, self-care looks like being honest with myself and God that I really don't want to do this today.  And then doing something tiny to keep me on track.  I'm learning that the Christian walk requires a lot of death to self, but it can be a small death-- a step on a lego with bare feet kind of thing rather than a fall on your sword on the battlefield death.

I need to discern the lies I'm believing and then preach the truth to myself.  Yes, I should be reading and meditating and praying through His word and enjoying it.  But does doing less today mean I've failed in my spiritual walk? Or that God can't possibly use that time to remind me of who He is?  Nope.

I also need to be careful not to take myself out of the battle either.  Giving up entirely, saying I'll never be able to change so why try, doesn't stop the battle.  It only means that I dropped my sword somewhere a mile back in the forest, and the mud is way too deep to keep slogging through, so I might as well just sit down and give up.  The battle still wages on, but I've taken myself out.  That never works.  I get covered all the more in the muck, shot through with shrapnel, and make myself a dangerous stumbling block to the other people on my side.

It is on these days that we need to lower our standards for ourselves (and our family!)  Give yourself grace, but be careful.  There is grace to be had for doing less, but repentance to be sought for doing nothing.

To develop discipline, keep the pattern of consistency.  Pray for strength,  and don't allow excuses for sitting down and giving up.  Keep pressing forward.  Keep standing.  Keep moving.  Just because I did less today doesn't mean all is lost for the rest of the day or week or year.  I'm tired of the slog and am nursing a few flesh wounds, but I'm still standing.

So if you find yourself on this third week in the new year feeling like you are ready to sit down and give up, how about you look for the tiniest step you can take today to keep standing instead.  Tiny steps still get you where you are headed.  And if you keep taking tiny steps, someday you'll realize that you have the energy to run.


14 comments:

  1. Kari, this is just what I needed today. I, too had a long weekend and didn't want to get up to face today, another full and crazy day. Thank you for sharing your journey and for encouraging me to take tiny steps instead of giving up.

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  2. Thank you for this.. I needed this. I too, can be so hard on myself if I can't do EVERYTHING... remembering that something is better than nothing and there is grace. Thank you!

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    1. Yes! I think I SHOULD be able to do everything, but am slowly learning that's a lie.

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  3. One day I put away the top rack of dishes in the dishwasher all the while telling God how tired I was. Tired of the journey, the grief and the pain! I looked down and low and behold I had put away the whole load! I smiled and thought just how blessed I was to complete a task... any task... and then I realized He had been right there in the kitchen with me, listening to every word! I was praying you see!! I cried and thought maybe, just maybe I can get a load of towels done too. I did! In fact, all the laundry, folded and put away, who knew! I sat and thought how hungry I was. So, being 3 pm and too late for a proper lunch and too early to dive into supper, I got a hot cup of tea and a chocolate; sat on the couch, propped up my feet and noticed my Bible. I thought, "you know I am just sitting here, why not read, why not draw in the margin, as I am an artist and that's my gift to Him. The words seem to dance to sing to me. I was mesmerized! They reminded me of a hymn and I sang. No reason, just sang and it was beautiful to hear the words of that hymn. For at least an hour I sat and sang and drew and read and drank tea with the KING! Now, it was supper time and I wasn't prepared. I know you are not surprised. But there sat chicken breasts in the fridge that I don't remember putting there to thaw. I pulled them out and as is my custom I thanked God for that chicken's life and that it would now sustain my family's! I found green beans in the freezer and made up some rice. After dinner we watched a little TV and soon came time for bed. When I laid down in my big, soft, warm bed I began to thank God for this and that and realized I'd spent the whole day in His lap!! That day that started so sluggish and empty gave way to counting my blessings and rest that would bring His new mercies again!!! I learned that day that He doesn't need soldiers that are talented and trained...He'd rather have mamas that are obedient. In that obedience we are strong...strong to make supper, to put away dishes and to do the laundry. And, in that obedience we teach obedience and we live it out. Some days aren't about the biggest and the best ... some days it's just a joy to BE in His rest!!!

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    1. Thanks for sharing! Tiny steps can indeed make progress!

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    2. Thank you for sharing your comment and thank you author for sharing your heart! I had this email saved in my inbox, as I did not initially read, expecting there would be a time I would need this. Today was the day.

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  4. I needed this today. My grandfather died on Sunday, funeral is Wednesday, and its a 7 hr drive. All just as I'm finding "normal" after the holidays. Death is so inconvenient. My week is wonked up, but I can still stay in the game. even if I feel like tapping out.

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    1. So sorry for your loss, death is such a hard road to walk down. May the Lord comfort you and your family.

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  5. Thank you so much! This is exactly what is happening to me right now. Thanks for your encouragement and ideas how battle it.

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  6. Not exactly how my day began, but such a good reminder that I don't have to be legalistic about what I must do. I don't need to give up, but I don't have to do it all either. Thanks.

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  7. I, too, needed to hear this today. Thanks for all you do for us, Kari.

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