Life's Four Quadrants

Menu and new goals for the week

I am setting a couple new goals for this week in hopes of helping me achieve a few of my goals.





One of those is staying current on my Bible Study (Beth Moore's Believing God--so good and a little painful). And lately I've been slacking off big time on getting up on time.  I'll snooze for about an hour and then be rushed, short on time, and lacking concentration because I know the boys will be up before I finish the study... and I haven't taken time to pray, which I REALLY need to spend more time on.

1.  NO snooze button.  Not allowed.  GOT to get up on time.  It'll be worth it, I promise.



 





I've also been trying to learn how to run.  Which is really funny to even type, because my "run" is more like a slow, limping jog... but I'm doing the Couch to 5k method, which so far hasn't killed me (though I think I might have had close to a stroke on day 2 of week 4 though... it was TOUGH!)  I'm using a free podcast from itunes that is helping a TON.  Seriously.  I ran one day without it (because my battery was dead) and it was MISERABLE.  If you want to try it, search NHS Couch to 5k on iTunes.  It helps.

2.  Finish Couch to 5k Week 5 this week.  (3 days of running.)  Ugh.











I'm also loving my to-do list with post it notes.  It has helped me so much stay on top of stuff, and even get to a few of my less important but "someday" things I'd like to do... but for the last couple weeks I've been doing just the urgent post its and having a lot of carry overs.  So this week I hope to clear my week with NO carryovers.  I'm going to have to really stay on top of each day to pull it off.

3.  No carry over week.





My last goal is to write everything I eat. I usually do good during the day, and then forget to measure and write down my dinners... I want to really focus on losing 3 more pounds this month and have to be diligent!  (I'm down a total of 15lbs since starting Weight Watchers this summer!)  My goal is to lose 65 lbs by Oct 2012, which means I need to lose about 5lbs a month. So far so good.

4.  Write all food down!



Now, the menu:

Breakfasts (I usually have either oatmeal, eggs, or cream of wheat)
Cereal
oats
monkey toes
eggs and sausage
McMom's sandwiches
Amish Baked oatmeals

Lunch (I usually have soup, salad, or sandwich)
quesadilla
leftovers
sandwiches
mac and dogs
grilled cheese
leftovers till they're coming out our noses

Dinner (this I have with the fam, but measure my portions according to how good or bad I ate during the day)
Chicken Curry Broccoli Bake, salad
Crockpot shredded beef
Deb's cheese enchiladas, rice, salad
Fish Tacos
Taquitos and crockpot green chile rice (made from leftover shredded roast)
Pizza (saved money from the food budget to BUY pizza this week... my boys will rise up and sing my praises!)
Cheeseburger soup and rolls

Parenting the Thrill Seeker Boy

I am the first to admit that I don't have a CLUE when it comes to parenting... 

BUT there have been times when I think for a blistering fast second that I might have finally gotten it.

THEN something new comes along.

Some sin issue (mine and/or theirs)

Some new hormone spurt

Some new arena I totally didn't know was hidden around that hairpin turn we just took at 120mph.

So we've been meeting with a pastor at our church.

A pastor who has four boys.

Who KNOWS boys.

(And who knows how different it is to raise boys in an all-boy family too)

And when we've been meeting, I spend most of the time furiously writing notes.

So I don't forgot these gems of wisdom thrown our way.

Like diamonds in coal dust.  (even if I totally and completely forget to bring paper and have to scratch it on the back of a shopping list/recycled church bulletin paper in my purse.)

And I just want to encourage any other mothers out there of boys.

Especially mothers of wild ones.

Thrill seekers.

Boys on the edge of red hot anger in a flash.

Boys growing and full of hormones, 

with specks of bitterness.

Be Encouraged.

Our pastor says these are the boys he's looking for.

These are the boys who will do GREAT things for God.

These are the missionaries with a passion.

These are the men who will go to the rough places with the gospel of Christ.

These are the do-ers who will witness to the other players on the team,

who will work in the soup kitchens,

who will travel to the infested jungles or the concrete ghettos in the inner cities.

THESE are the boys who can do amazing things for Christ.

Through our meetings with our pastor, I've been writing out parts of my job as a mom of the Thrill Seeker boy:

1. PRAY.  

Pray that his heart will be passionate for Christ.  Pray for safety.  Pray for passion for the Gospel.  Pray for God to really touch and mold his heart at an early age.  Pray, Pray, Pray.

2.  DO NOT squelch his thrill-seeking tendencies.

Help him be wise (safe) and then don't watch.  LOL  (within reason, of course)

3.  Help him find SOMETHING he is passionate about.

Skateboarding, BMXing, motocross, etc etc.  Or maybe  sky diving--(ya, my son actually did ask me just the other day, "Hey mom?  If you KNEW, 100% without a doubt that your parachute would absolutely open, would you ride a motorcycle from an airplane and skydive to the ground?!  I mean, you'd know 100% that the parachute would open, at the right time and everything... because I sure would.")

4.  At EVERY opportunity 

(and there will be many, many of them) TEACH.

Teach, teach, teach

Train, train, train.

We have the consequences without parental anger down fairly well, but the BIG step that Love and Logic is missing, is that at the CALM times, the GOOD times, talk about God. Talk, really talk, about what REAL, STRONG men look like.  What leaders of their family do.  What Men of God act like.  Read them Biblical stories (David is a GREAT man of God with a Thrill Seeker heart... as is Paul.) and biographies of STRONG men of Christ who did the HARD things.

5.  Every time they mess it all up, STAY. CALM.

These thrill seeker boys have a very low flash point temper.  My anger at their anger will accomplish exactly one thing... Bitterness. 

6.  KNOW that you will ALWAYS be dealing with SOMETHING.

Parenting isn't about FIXING them and then you're done with that problem.

Parenting is dealing with an issue that suddenly slaps you in the face and working, working, working, on it until the next thing comes up.

And there will ALWAYS be a next thing.

ALWAYS.

Relationship and communication are key.

Relationship and communication are totally messed up with anger.

And most of all (this is from me, not our pastor), please, PLEASE be REAL with other moms.  

I feel so ALONE, so much of the time because other moms seem to have it all together.  

I know moms who have moved through every day of their parenting lives without mentioning ONE SINGLE WORD about any kind of snag or problem tripped over.

Really?

Are there families like that?

For real?

Moms like me who are struggling in this thing called parenting need to know that others are too.  

I need REAL.

TRANSPARENT.

HONEST.

PAINFUL.

TEARS.

LAUGHTER.

and all the craziness that is my life--from other moms too.

Praying for my boys

My name is Kari, and I struggle with prayer.

Prayer is hard like math and exercise.  And prayer in the midst of unending, ongoing, and exhausting struggle requires a huge amount of effort on my part, and I don't really know how to do it.

But today, as I'm struggling through things that happened yesterday and last night, I dug out my Warrior Prayers e-book and flipped to a section and started skimming.

Then I stopped and re-read:

"Perhaps the bet place for a weary mom to be is physically and emotionally exhausted...on her knees.

With each day that passes I'm more convinced that I have absolutely no power to change the hearts of my boys.  Oh, I can change their behavior if I try hard enough.  Anyone can do that.  But I know that what's in the heart eventually comes out.  I know that if their knees are ever to bend to Jesus as Savior their hearts must bend first.  And that's God's business.

I'm praying that you'll grasp this concept so clearly that it will bring you strength and peace in the midst of your wildest storms.  You cannot change the hearts of your boys.  You can't.  Period.  It's not your job.  It's so important that you get this, friends, because you're going to want to be able to change their hearts more than anything in the world.  Days, months, maybe even years of endless toil and labor for the sake of your sons will go by with no apparent fruit.  Night after night you will cry out to the Lord for change.  Day after day you will parent intentionally seeking the heart of your son.  But until the King of kings and Lord of lords turns His heart of stone to a heart of flesh, your son's actions will be motivated by what is pleasing to him rather than by what is pleasing to the Lord."

Amen.  I need to read this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.