Parenting Best Practices #2 is
"Choose curiosity over accusation" -Bravewriter.com
Some questions to ask the people in your life (especially your children),
instead of assuming or accusing or lecturing.
Do you want help with that?
(instead of jumping in and doing it for them.)
Are you annoying me (frustrating me, irritating me) on purpose?
(watch your tone of voice on this one, sincerity instead of sarcasm.)
Are you avoiding your work on purpose?
(instead of GET BACK TO WORK FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME!)
Do you know why I asked for that?
Is that what you meant to do?
(curiosity over accusation/assumption)
How do you want to make that right?
(instead of "Go apologize to your ____!)
Is that what you wanted to happen?
(instead of WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?)
follow up with: What did you want?
follow up that with: What will it take to get to that?
follow that up one more time with: Do you want any help with that?
What would motivate you to want to _________?
What do you think the point of __________ should be?
I wish I could remember where I found these questions
(they didn't originate in my brain!)
but I just have them scrawled on a piece of notebook paper from years ago.
If they sound familiar to you, let me know and I can properly link to it.