Stone Soup for Five
I was going to post about homeschool, and how it is slowly creeping up on us, but figured that no one but me needed to hear me whine and fight against it (I'm excited, nervous, scared, tired, positive, negative, and all the emotions between content and angry), but instead as I was brushing my teeth and not exercising this morning I thought I'd write about something else on my heart.

I posted here about how my life is skewed.  Not in the normal I'm-dorky-and-slightly-skewed-myself way.  But in a basic priorities way.

And that's been in the corners of my mind ever since.  I know I need to put God first, and how I do that is fairly cut and dried: Be in His word enough that my life is colored by His truth and spend time in prayer, daily.

But putting my husband first? What would that look like?  I'm still working on it, but have come up with a few points so far.

1. Be here when he ges home, WITH a smile and nice greeting. 
(This is huge for him, if I'm not here, he never complains, but he has mentioned how much he likes it when we're all here.  AND if I hit him with a bad mood, problem, discipline issue as soon as he walks in the door, his mood is shot--I've learned to wait till he has put his stuff away, changed his clothes and had some dinner before I talk to him about problems.)

2.  Have dinner ready, or at least have the table set and something for him to snack on if I'm totally not together on most days. 
On crazy days if I don't have the crockpot on, I at least try to have a veggie tray stocked and filled.  He's always starving when he gets home and I know from trial and MOSTLY error, that if he is hungry things do not go as well as when he is full.  True fact.

3.  Walk with him when we're out and about.
Lately I've been paying attention to how we move as a family.  
It usually goes like this:  
We arrive at the swim center.  

Mr. Measure is driving.  

We park in a spot and I gather my stuff and hop out. 

Mr. Measure turns off the car.

  I close the door and speed walk to the end of the van.  

Mr. Measure takes out the keys.

The boys open their door and pile out on top of each other, fighting.

I don't want to hear it so I start off toward the swim center door.

Mr. Measure opens his door and steps out after checking all lights and everything is off and grabbing any trash in the cup holder.

The boys (a bickering mess) pick up their stuff and run after me.

Mr. Measure arranges his keys properly and places them in his pocket.

I walk faster and reach the door.

The boys tumble after me and the unhappiest boy of the group walks beside me (as I try to speed walk away from him) and grumbles about the unfairness of everything/anything.

Mr. Measure closes the door and straightens his clothing, turning towards the hot mess happening at the door.

I usher the boys into the building and sometimes wait at the door for Mr. Measure, but usually just go in to show our ID and get the boys going to where they are supposed to be.

Then I impatiently wait thinking "What the HECK is he doing out there?" As Mr. Measure walks to the door.

We don't move well as a family.
Anywhere.

I'm making a conscious effort to instead wait by the car until Mr. Measure does his thing, then hold hands as we walk in together.

And you want to know what's funny, and how ingrained the "normal way" is to the boys?  No one can get anywhere!
The boys kind of mill around without a goal, like they've forgotten what we're doing.  They bicker and a clot forms at the back of the car in the parking lot,  while I grab Corey's hand and try to walk with him to where we are going.
The boys kinda half walk half stop in front of us and the grumbling boy (whoever it is at the moment) looks lost and confused because there is no ear there to hear his grumbling.  I have to TELL them to go to the door, or push gently on their back or steer them to where we are going.
It's confusing them.
Which I find hilarious.



But, I don't want you to get the impression I do this daily, or that I LIKE doing this.  In fact, some days I have to be careful to not resent that I have to work hard to do stuff, when it seems a lot of the time I get nothing in return.

I'm not June Cleaver.

I want to do my own thing.

This DOES NOT come natural to me.
But, I have a sneaking feeling that the Lord is changing me through marriage, parenting, homeschooling, in His perfect (but sometimes so painful) way.  And like our 'theme' for the year.
"We have to do HARD things, because nothing worth having is ever easy".

My hard thing right now?
Putting life in priority.
And it is HARD.


4 comments:

  1. Oh man, this goes right along with everything I've been learning in that Sacred Marriage book. I so know exactly what you mean. I have SUCh a hard time greeting my husband with a smile when he comes home. What is wrong with me?! I totally love the guy. I think it's this hidden need to garner sympathy, like maybe if I look like a martyr he will suddenly fall all over himself to ask me about my day and tell me how much he appreciates me, when in reality, it just pushes him away. I shoot my own foot off every single time. SO, I'm with you on the greeting with a smile thing. Loved this post, love your honestly and how real you are. You rock, Kari.

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  2. Kira, I meant to tell you that I saw that Sacred Marriage book and suggested to a friend that we go through it together. But have yet to buy it. Kinda scared. It's good though, right? Painful, but heart changing?

    (I KNEW I should have never prayed on January 1, 2011 that this would be a year of change! It hurts!) Hugs to you, my blog sista!

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  3. This was a great post... very challenging. Your thought about how you guys move as a family was enlightening... I hadn't even realized that we totally do the same thing all to often. Sadly, holding my husband's hand (a not a squirmy child's) seems to be a rare occurrence these days. What a great reminder. I pray that by God's grace I might be able to have a little success with this - even this week.

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  4. Great post,Kari!

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