Stone Soup for Five: Dork Diary #7--The Ugly Edition

Dork Diary #7--The Ugly Edition

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Bad news?

Okay...

I'm a bad mom.  As in Angry Mom--not Angry Birds (that my husband plays WAY too much of lately).

Anyway, I'm struggling with a whole lotta attitude coming out of one not so tiny thirteen year old body.  And when he got angry at the box of gift wrapping stuff not fitting back under the bed and yelled "because you have TOO MUCH CRAP UNDER THERE!" I WANTED to slap his face.  

It flashed through my mind.

I saw my hand flying.

I felt how good it would feel to slap him.

He deserved it.

He was out of control and disrespectful.

But I couldn't.

Do you want to know WHY?

Because I knew I wouldn't have had the strength to stop at one pop in the mouth.

It would have been ugly.

I was out of control and wouldn't be able to stop.

That's the only reason I didn't.


Not because I know that dealing with HIS anger with MINE is wrong.
Not because I know that I need to preserve our relationship more than anything.
NOT because I'm a good mom with overflowing self control.
But because I knew I wouldn't stop.
UGH!

Parenting is so hard!

The good news?  I can rest in the comfort that God is working in me.  
And know that He is not through with me yet... which is strangely comforting.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Gal 6:9

Bad: wanting to slap his face
Good: knowing that one tiny act of pause means that Christ is working here.

I need to make a caution sign to hang up in our home.


CAUTION
Christ is working

Then everyone who visits (or lives here) will know that it may get messy, it can get ugly, but there is hope that it will gradually get better...


Linking up to Fess Up Friday

3 comments:

  1. Oh man, I so need a sign like that too!!!!!

    Mine would say "Caution: Testimony in Progress" because I am not at the end of my testimony yet, I'm still stuck in the ugly middle where everything looks sloppy and hopeless for a while. But the good news is that He promises He's going to complete this work, so I know there WILL be a good ending to my testimony if I just hang in there.

    Kari, I so relate to you. Sometimes I feel like you steal things right out of my head and write them down. I have wanted to slap my son before too. That sass mouth just kills me, and it's usually when he's pointing out one of my flaws or failures that I'm already fully aware of that I get the maddest. *sigh* Christ is working here too, girlfriend.

    I always wish that you had your email enabled on your blogger profile so I could reply to you via email. It's easy to do. Let me know if you need help finding it. I need a way to email you :) Also~ I'm not sure if your post got linked up on my site. It looked like your link might be missing.

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  2. Okay, I think I changed my blogger profile so email shows. I think. If it doesn't work, you can email me at kariandcompany AT comcast.net and tell me how to do it!

    I couldn't get the link to show the pic of your blog for whatever reason (NOT because I'm a dork), so I just linked with text. Maybe because I was writing this post on my laptop? I'll try to edit on my usual computer.

    Thanks!

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  3. I can totally relate! I usually end up saying or doing something stupid and then berating myself for being a 'bad mom' for the rest of the day. This parenting thing is quite the journey. Thanks for your honesty. "He's still working on me...to make me what I ought to be..."

    ReplyDelete

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